For the Ladies: The Essentials
by Lee Emma Post
The alarming rise of the militant feminist movement over this past century has severely clouded our understanding of the ways in which a modern ORAMA wife should support her man.

The basic elements of true ORAMA womanhood are as follows:

Communication and obedience (they are one and the same).
Of course the perfect American woman does not think ORAMA is God, but she wisely understands that he is A Gift From God. In the ORAMA family unit, ORAMA, like God, is all knowing, and therefore, she responds to him as if she were speaking with a divinity. For example, if the ORAMA asks her to remove her sandals as she walks across the sand dunes at Martha's Vineyard, she will carefully take them off, without a word. It is quick, it is easy, and it just makes sense. Following directions without questioning him allows the American woman to aid ORAMA without wasting time -- and it lets him function at his maximum potential.

Public Disposition and Hygiene:
An ORAMA woman must not be distracting -- particularly on the stump. It is important for her to be blandly dressed and well groomed. Clothes should fit perfectly; she should always have a clear complexion, and her hair always done. Nothing about her can be disheveled.

  

In public she should always look up to him with the utmost admiration, so people are never distracted by her presence. When she does this ORAMA's brilliance will be more easily communicated, because people will truly understand what he stands for and why they need him.  

Ladylike In The Parlor, Primped And Pretty In The Bedroom.
ORAMA has to procreate successfully, and often with utmost efficiency -- in order for his money and power to be passed on to the future ORAMA. What would a democracy be without the creation of powerful family dynasties to control it? Its time to get the next generation in the oven. To do this, privates should be well groomed and impeccably maintained. The "Air Craft Carrier-Style Landing Strip" is highly recommended. Keep in mind: you cannot go wrong if you worship his manhood. Do not feel hesitant to let him know he is the idol you kneel down to.

LEE EMMA POST is an avid knitter and amateur golfer -- and frequent contributor to WomenforMitt.com, and Ladies Home Journal.


 
The Price of Freedom
 by Red Sanders
"Jeffery, put the gun down."
My nine-year-old son had my favorite revolver clutched in two hands, squinting through one eye, his tongue curled like a pink worm out of the side of his mouth as he aimed the barrel at an apple on his little sister's head. "Jeffery, do not pull that trigger."

It was every father's worst nightmare and every liberal's wet dream. As Jeffery looked at me, and then back at the apple, weighing his options, I immediately thought of the anti-gun lobby licking their chops at the prospect of another careless gun owner who had stupidly left a loaded revolver in an unlocked hall closet. "Put the gun down now, Jeffery."

This happened in December of 2004. Luckily, it turned out to be a non-event.

I was embarrassed then, and I am embarrassed now. But here is the point: I would rather go through ten more of these awful incidents than vote for a candidate who does not love and appreciate guns the way every American should. Do you hear that, liberal Democrats?  

Unless you have felt the cool, sleek grip of a Smith and Wesson or the hard machinery of an AR 15 assault rifle, you probably wouldn't understand. Holding a loaded gun goes way beyond the pleasure of any sensation you can imagine. The long, steel barrel of a 47 Magnum will go ahead and make anyone's day. Jeffery evidently found this out for himself one morning a year later when he decided he wanted to shave that peach fuzz off of his upper lip and legs. He found my prize Magnum in the shaving drawer (It seemed a safe enough place at the time, considering the boy had only a thin blond harvest of pre-pubescent sprouts).

When I found Jeffery in his bedroom, reeking of Old Spice and loading up a couple old shells he had found in my wife's underwear drawer, I knew it was high time we had a man to man talk.

Jeffrey promised me then and there to stop poking around the house for guns and ammo, and the understanding we reached brought us closer together as father and son. I even walked him to the bathroom and initiated him to the finer points of a clean shave.

When this turning point in our relationship occurred, in February of 2005, I briefly considered installing gun safety locks, a measure I had spent two years of my life lobbying against. However, then I let my mind drift back to the question of why we have guns in the first place.

My thoughts sailed back in time, back to the Revolutionary War. What would have happened if George Washington, desperately reaching for his musket in the face of a British charge, first had to fuss around with a safety lock? In the heat and throes of creating the world's first functioning democracy, what if our Founding Fathers had been mired down in the bureaucracy of a five-day background check? I recalled the historic reason for the 2nd amendment, and how our nation won its independence. It was because civilians were armed and at the ready, just as we must be now if anyone, anywhere threatens our way of life.

STANSFIELD "RED" SANDERS is a long-time lobbyist for the NRA, and is a frequent contributor to ORAMA weekly, and Gun Dog magazine. He is an avid hunter and trapper.


ORAMA Moves to Level the Playing Field in Presidential Primary
Suggests Jeb Bush be in charge of tallying votes
BY LARIMORE HUNTER, MANAGING EDITOR

With bi-partisan suspicion swirling around the integrity of an all-electronic vote count in the California Republican Primary, ORAM-JET, an Oklahoma-based think tank, proposes that future 2008 election votes be counted by an impartial source with extensive experience in what has become an extremely sensitive matter. After considering several possible choices, including former President Jimmy Carter and British mathematician Simon Kirwan Donaldson, ORAM-JET has selected former Florida governor, Jeb Bush.

ORAM-JET head, Dr. Lindsay Patterson, weighs in: "We need a man with leadership experience, yet without the power of a party nomination." When questioned about a possible conflict of interest, Patterson replied, "Jeb Bush is not an 'official' candidate, simply a potential write in," he said, adding, "His underdog status would provide a valuable safety-net in the unlikely event that the official, court-mandated tally is tainted. I think we can agree that Florida got it right in 2000 -- and I think its fair to say that Jeb Bush played a huge part in that."


Perspectives on Change
by JonAthAn Pallid
How can we deconstruct the process of change? Santayana’s quote remains true, “Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” And even though he primarily meant the Alamo, it is reasonable to believe that the same could relate to this new, wider concept of “change.” Naturally, the political arena comes to mind.

Academics constantly argue that time is cyclical, and yet no one will step forward and propoose that societies and cultures postpone moving forward. If we are to end up right back where we began, wouldn’t the logical conclusion be to save the time and energy and just stay with the status quo? Taking this philosophy to heart, one would be inclined to maintain a Republican presidency.

JONATHAN PALLID is a sociologist and research professor in the Department of Anthropology at DeWitt University. He is the author of This Gentile World and What’s So Great About Race, Class, Gender?

 
Google
 

©2008, ORAMA FOR AMERICA. All Rights Reserved | Paid for by Upstanding Citizens like you | All content is property of ORAMA '08, and its members